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Vidéos + Top 5 des faits qui démontrent qu’il est plus “dur” d’être passif qu’actif

Allez, on commence par une petite vidéo d’Andrew Grey sur les passifs et les actifs, pour détendre l’atmosphère, avant ce top endiablé !

Attaquons donc maintenant les choses sérieuses… Pourquoi serait-il plus compliqué d’être passif qu’actif ? Réponses en 5 raisons.

1. Raison la plus logique

Le but est quand même d’essayer de faire rentrer quelque chose d’assez gros dans un endroit plutôt étroit. Avec l’expérience, ça va. Mais les débuts sont tout de même douloureux.

 

2. Raison la plus évidente pour les connaisseurs : la bouffe. 

On ne va pas rentrer dans les détails, hein… Mais pour les novices, disons qu’il faut éviter de se taper un MacDo ou un cassoulet dans les 24 heures avant l’acte.

De toute façon, croyez moi, si vous le faites quand même (je vous vois déjà venir les petits jeunes “ahah mais geeenre, pfff, genre je vais me priver!”), ce sera une fois pas deux. Parole de passif (en fait versatile mais du coup ça a moins d’impact “parole de versatile”…).

 

3. Parfois, ça ne veut pas…

Et oui, même lorsque l’on est excité, le fait d’être passif, c’est tout un art.
La plupart du temps, l’excitation fait que ça passe sans problème. Mais certaines fois, et c’est inexplicable, ça ne passe pas. Même excité. Même avec le tube de lubrifiant vidé. Rien à faire, ça veut pas.

Et quand ça veut pas, mieux vaut ne pas insister…

 

4. L’après sexe

Oui, vous savez, cet intervalle (qui peut aller de 10 minutes à 3 heures, s’il le faut) juste après l’acte.

Bon, cette fois ci je ne rentrerai pas dans les détails. Même pour les plus novices. Je vous laisse le plaisir de le découvrir par vous-mêmes.

5. Et parfois, l’après après sexe.

Oui… Malheureusement, notre cul n’est pas aussi résistant que le minou de mesdames. Nous pouvons donc parfois être confrontés à toutes sortes de désagrément, du style fissures ana… Ouais, non, on ne va pas développer plus.

Par contre, quand ça arrive, vous vous en souvenez ! Et c’est super sexy…

Ah oui, et j’oubliais : quand ça arrive, on oublie le sexe pendant quelques semaines (en tous cas la pénétration). Ce ne serait pas drôle, sinon.

Donc un conseil : on évite de se faire marteau piqueurer (oui, c’est un verbe).

topbottom2

 

Bonus : les clichés 

Du coup, cela fait un top 6, vous me direz. Mais j’ai cette névrose qui fait que je ne PEUX PAS faire un top 6. ou 7. C’est comme le son à la télé. C’est 5, 10, 15 etc. Mais pas 13 ! Vous voyez ?

Donc, je disais : les clichés.

Dans l’imaginaire collectif, qui dit passif dit grosse drama queen totalement efféminée.

Euh… Bah non en fait. Comme si le fait d’être passif retirait toute virilité, voire même masculinité, du mec. Ah ! Ah ! Ah ! Laissez-moi rire. Quand on pense au nombre d’hétéros qui aiment se faire doigter par leurs copines. Cela ne fait pas d’eux des demi mecs.

Bon, quoi qu’il en soit, j’imagine que le mieux c’est quand même d’être versatile (passif ET actif, on aime les deux quoi). Donc mon conseil serait d’essayer de développer les deux côtés de la chose, comme ça vous serez toujours content ! Et plus de prise de tête lorsque vous tomberez sur un passif super canon si vous l’êtes aussi (passif, pas super canon).

Allez, on termine avec une parodie hilarante de la célèbre chanson d’Alicia Keys, Girl on Fire, renommée pour le coup This Boy is a Bottom (comprenez : Ce garçon est passif).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=58&v=s0kqobQRcUo

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